I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
