I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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