what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
