I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
