Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
why is half of my head shaved?
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