my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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