I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
