woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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