hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
