If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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