i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
