I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
