WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
