Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
its liver damage thursday
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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