if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
