omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
