Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
