Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.

Fav 6 1419 3085
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(703): View more from Virginia

You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

Fav 16 1441 3743
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

Fav 8 1510 2942
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(410): View more from Maryland

i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.

(443): View more from Maryland

do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?

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(317): View more from Indiana

The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

Fav 8 3036 821
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(519): View more from Ontario

Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck

Fav 8 943 1456
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.

Fav 1 32 80
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?

Fav 1 36 14
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