we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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