If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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