let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
