She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
