I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
