He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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