Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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