Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
