I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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