Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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