bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
