Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
True college students do jello shots in the library
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