I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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