Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize