Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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