honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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