either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
