I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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