Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
