Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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