Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
