i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
