Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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