Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
