This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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