Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
