Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
