im having a threesome with these popsicles
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
