he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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