; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize