I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
