it hurts more in the daytime
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize