I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
