I seem to have left my pride at pride
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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