so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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