Porn is love you can see.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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