remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just sent this text using only my big toe
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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