haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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