We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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