life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
