...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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