just tell him i said nine months
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
