I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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