So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
