he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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