my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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