RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize