We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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