Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
