She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
